A manly deed in the Scottish islands

2009-03-10

You may have heard about the beauty of the Scottish countryside? The wide and empty expanses, the animals, the heather, the mountains and valleys? I had. Of course, every little corner of the world has its lavish brochures telling you just how wonderful that very spot is for tourists, what an extraordinary history the village has and how fabulous the food tastes. This, however, was the first time I had been to a place where the reality not only matched the brochure, it actually surpassed it. With interest. Scotland offers heady experiences of nature, good food, great people and adventure. Much more than I will be able to describe here.

This summer, my friend Anton and I met in Stockholm and it so happened that we were both intending to tell the other that we would be becoming fathers around New Year time. I’ve known the man for fifteen years and we managed to time it so that we became fathers at the same time and told each other the news at the same time. Absurd as it may be, it led to us wanting to do a final manly deed before the days of nappy-changing and sleepless nights took over. And, indeed, there is something Hemingway-ish about walking in a barren, mountainous landscape. You are right in among the elements of nature: the sea, the earth and the wind.

No sooner said than done, we travelled to Glasgow and made sure we checked out Scotland's number one shopping city. It was a really positive surprise. Forget expensive London and go instead to Glasgow to buy your nice clothes and things. Or why not a kilt? I came mightily close to going home with one! In Glasgow, the shopping galleries compete for space but there are plenty of attractive small specialised shops, too.

So we travelled on further south-westwards towards the Hebrides, that group of islands in the Atlantic, where we ended up on Arran. A relatively large island, said to be like Scotland in miniature. After a fabulous boat journey and a short hop on the bus, our hardships began. After walking for many miles we were a bit disappointed. We were walking a ‘Golden Age’ trail and kept on meeting sporty pensioners. It was a bit too tame for the manly project we had imagined for ourselves, so we decided to leave the trail and go up into the mountains – and this is where the adventure started for real. Dressed in ours uniforms of Marlboro Classics, we clambered round for two days in waist-high marsh, heather and mud. Tough and hard work, but we were in a landscape where fallow deer and sheep stared at us, clouds hung around the mountain tops and we could fill our water bottles from streams and waterfalls in the mountains.  Think ‘Lord of the Rings’ and you will have an idea of what it actually looked like. As well as that, we felt like two hobbits who were out on our journey. I wouldn’t have been the slightest bit surprised if Gandalf had popped up from behind a mountain ridge.

In the evening, we enjoyed a full-bodied meat pie in the only pub in the village of Lochranza, then fell asleep exhausted at nine before being up bright and alert again at eight in the morning. Our landlady promised that the breakfast, consisting of eggs, bacon and sausage, would keep us going during the day’s walk. When we came out of the house, another fallow deer stopped and we were able to pat it for a while until it strutted away. I wondered if I was suddenly the main character in ‘The Truman Show’. Is this real? Is it staged?

Of course, we lost ourselves in the mountains for a few hours but when we finally got to the ferry berth (we managed to hitch the last part, stinking of marsh water and sheep droppings) we were fully content and happy. Tired, for sure, but content.

Along the way we’d met some genial Scots who’d been helpful and obliging, but you did get the feeling most of them carried a whiskey or two under their waistcoat. Just ever so slightly tipsy most of the time, that wilderness nation.

Yours,
Mathias

Name: Mathias Evert Öster
Age: 32
Work: Artist and administrator
Lives: Arboga, Västmanland, Sweden
Family: Wife Linda and two teenage boys.
Interests: Art & culture, cigars, good food, travel, long distance running and most things to do with fashion & health.
Bedtime reading: The IKEA catalogue. We need to buy some things for the house. According to my wife.
In my headphones: Bagpipes! ‘Amazing Grace’ is the business!
Favourite product right now: Maxim’s Deodorant. It is really, really good! Have definitely recommended it before, but if you haven’t tried it, do so.

More articles by Mathias can be found here!